Monday, September 10, 2007

What's that up in the sky?

Able to give the Good News to the poor faster than a speeding bullet.

He doffs his zuchetto

Releasing captives more powerfully than a locomotive.

Set's the hair to flight mode

Giving new sight to the blind and setting the oppressed free in a single bound.

Furls up his cape
Look, up in the sky!

And takes off
It's a bird! No, it's a plane.

Super-Pope captured in mid flight. They had to rope in a National Geographic photographer for this shot.
It's Super-Pope!

And sidekicks, Wonder-Bishop and Robbi? =)
No offense intended. Apologies in advance to B'nai B'rith, Abe Foxman, the ADL and the Jewish people.

He's so hot, he sometimes levitates while seated needing the help of sidekick Wonder-Bishop to stay grounded.
Formerly the mild mannered Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger and sidekick to the previous Super-Pope, he got his super powers when the Conclave of Cardinals elected him Pope.

The mild mannered Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger

The Conclave of Cardinals which bit... err... elected him. There was much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth by villains and baddies such as Modernist Goblin Hans Kung, the evil Stepmother Frances Kissling and Rat Woman Joan Chittister and the archbrother and sisterhood of evil such as VOF, Call to Action, the NCR.

His expression after being elected

As Sidekick to Super-Pope John Paul II

Included among his many powers are infallibility while speaking ex cathedra, supreme, full ordinary and immediate jurisdiction over the whole Church, appointments and deposition of bishops, excommunication and much more.

Unlike its more famous confrère, the Bat Mobile, the Pope Mobile is His Holiness' vehicle of choice.

Comes in both the convertible (above) and bulletproof (below) models.

It's great for making your way through large crowds.

When he's not zipping around in his sedia gestatoria of course. But sedia sightings have become somewhat of a rarity of late after the infamous VII incident chronicled as The Pope and the Council: The Infiltration of Modernism (Pls refer to the Super Pope comics #1965 - #1978 for more info).

Past title holder Pius XII in a sedia gestatoria. Archival footage. The Daily Planet has a USD50,000 standing offer for sightings of current holder in sedia.

As a chic modern day superhero, Super Pope has various costumes for different occasions, be it blessing crowds on a cold day, transubstantiating the Body of Christ or excommunicating heretics.

As mentioned earlier, some pieces such as the fiddleback chasuble and papal fanon became extremely rare after the VII incident. Refer to sedia gestatoria above. The Daily Planet has a USD30,000 standing offer for sightings of current holder in fiddleback and fanon. Previous holder JPIIweloveu in archival images in fanon and fiddleback.

Camauro, for keeping the ears warm in cold weather and red cappa, for long distance and trans-continental flights.

Papal pallium, for lasso-ing heretics

Of course, like any self respecting super hero, Super Pope has a tonne of great gadgets and gizmos to make his task easier (and to make him look good).

Mitre, to gore heretics to death and crozier, to bop them on the head. Usage reserved for super-villains and arch-heretics, category II(the excommunicated, those who had books and writings banned by the CDF, etc) and above (liturgical dancers, inventors of Communion in the Hand, the composer of Kumbaya, etc).

Papal Tiara, a torture device which projects the entire Summa, the Prayer to St. Michael, the Tridentine Mass (with the Missa Papae Marcelli) into an enemy's head and replays it over and over. Voice of Cardinal Ottaviani heard every 5 minutes asking "Do you recant?"

Red Papal shoes. Kicks butt.

Ring of the Fisherman, the topping on the knuckle sandwich. Demonstration of application below:

The final weapon in the arsenal is the Papal Hand Wave. Can be used to impart benedictions such as the Urbi et Orbi or excommunications. No range limits. Works through TV as well (Click the link, scroll down and check under Works Indulgenced with a Plenary Indulgence, #10).

Unlike the Bat-light, which only works at night, used to summon Batman, our hero can be summoned by a puff of white smoke.

The white smoke used to summon Super-Pope. Be extra careful to ensure that the smoke is white. Grey and indeterminate colour smoke have been known to spark false alarms. Shine a bright light on it for night time use.
No offence intended.


Anonymous said...

Excellent pictures Andrew

Jeffrey Smith said...

A dose of the truth

Anonymous said...

hey andrew, great entry =)

Cursed Maker said...

Nice pics, good comments.